ANDREW CHAPLOWITZ REVIEWS TRADER JOE'S

The thing about Trader Joe's is, the shopping experience is so pleasant, the staff are super nice. They have the nice uniforms and ring the captain's bell. But I have a feeling that the negotiations that take place in their corporate offices are much different. I think they shake down their vendors something fierce. I mean, some of their price points are so below their competitors, it's surreal. Consider:

• Dr. Bronners soap. This superior product, made from vegetable oils, retails for about $9 for 16 oz. in most health food stores. The best price I saw was at the Vitamin Shoppe, known for their deep discounts. Their price was $15.99 for a quart.

Good price, except for the fact that Trader Joe's has it for $9.99 for a quart. Again, they must have subliminal messages in their buyers office or put their vendors into deep trance to give their wares away.

• Clif Bars These high-quality meal replacement bars, sweetened with brown rice syrup, were on promotion recently at a well-known convenience store, for $3.50 for two. Again, Trader Joe's reigns supreme as they sell the Clif bars for an inexplicable 99 cents everyday!

• Tofu Tofu prices have risen in recent years. The supermarkets are getting $3 per lb. and offering only one brand, no variety and so-so quality. Trader Joe's has held the price at $1.99. And unlike other brands, that advertise their tofu as being "super-firm", and then you put it in a wok and it crumbles, theirs really is super-firm.
• They also offer a superior sprouted tofu. Given the super-charged quality of sprouted foods, at $1.99, it's an absolute steal.

• Virgils Root Beer This root beer has virtually no competition. It's made with real sarsaparilla, along with cloves, cinnamon and other real herbs. It's not uncommon to see it in stores at a price point of $7.99 for a four pack. Again, Trader Joe's: everyday price of $3.99 makes it the pricing leader. They also stock other flavors of Virgils at the same price.

• Aloe The benefits of incorporating aloe into your diet are listed here. For years I bought a well-known brand of Whole Leaf Aloe for either $7.99 per quart or $20 for a gallon. Again, Trader Joe's, in arguably its best value in the store....$7.99 for a gallon...? My first thought was perhaps it was of an inferior quality, but it's IAC certified, and has the taste of saponins of the better-known brands.

In addition, they excel in seafood (frozen), and have their own private label on many food items, rumored to be made by top-selling manufacturers.

Trader Joe's. Love to shop there. Would be afraid to sell to them.

DR. BRONNERS LIQUID SOAP--STILL ON TOP, BUT WITH THIS CAVEAT

This natural soap, which suds up from the saponification of the oils of olive and coconut, was developed by the late Dr. Emanuel Bronner, who was a chemist and supposedly a rabbi.

However, a search reveals he might not have been a practicing rabbi.

How do I feel? Probably the way Art Carney's character on The Honeymooners, Ed Norton,  a sewer worker, felt when  he dressed up for a masquerade as Francois De La Brioschi, who Norton erroneously thought built the sewers of Paris, only to find out that Brioschi actually condemned them!

LUNDBERG RICE CAKES--VIRTUALLY UNCHALLENGED

Take the "rice cake challenge"--pick up a bag of your typical store-bought rice cakes, then do the same with any Lundberg package.  It's about 50% heavier!  Kinda like picking up the $1.99 pint of ice cream, then picking up Ben & Jerry's or Haagen Daaz.

All of the Lundberg varieties are winners. Here is a sumptuous way to enjoy: spread with a schmeer of cashew nut butter, then top that off with either rasberry or strawberry jam.....bliss!! Okay, mixing fats, long-chain carbs and sweets is heavy on digestion...so what?  When you're going to binge, splurge, eat to relieve stress...it doesn't get any better than this.

ESSENE CINNAMON RAISIN SPROUTED BREAD--SLAMMIN'!

Here's another gustatory delight, one of the best products, within the means of most.

Essene Bread is sprouted before being ground into flour.  The cinnamon-raisin offering is unique in that it's more like a bread-cake hybrid.  The more you chew it, the sweeter it becomes, unlike addictive foods that make your mouth water initially, but then become unpalatable if you keep chewing.  For an excellent explanation of this, I refer you to Dr. David Kessler's superb book, The End Of Overeating.
For a hearty snack or meal replacement that will hold you over, try this combination (one of the few original ideas I've ever had):

• spread a slice with a layer of cashew butter, then top it off with a dollop of kim-chee ( spicy pickled cabbage)

It's got everything going on--the sweet moist bread, the richness of the nut butter, and the crunch and spice of the kim-chee cutting through.  Awesome!

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FOUR-CHIMNEYS HONEYDEW MOON DESSERT WINE

First sampled their Dayspring (semi-dry white) at the Souen Restaurant in New York city.  Have been enjoying it (on occasion) ever since.

A few years back, Four-Chimneys, one of the first organic wineries in the country, located in Himrod-On-Hudson, NY (Fingerlakes), came out with a line of dessert wines.  Honeydew Moon has to be tasted to be believed. A wine made from honeydew melon!!  I have given it out during the holidays, and have had nothing but stellar responses.  My friend, Daphne, one of the best looking waitresses in the state of NJ (shut up,girl, U R!!) a woman who is hard to please, was estatic. Gave it to her during x-mas. Saw her the next day. She was like, "loved the wine".  I was like, "let's take our time consuming it, lush!" (jk lol).

They've raised the price like two bucks per bottle on their whole line in the last twenty years.

Four-Chimneys--easily makes my best of the cheapbling list.  Savior like royalty and have $ left over.

BEST HAND DISH SOAP--DISHMATE ALMOND--NO CHALLENGE

the best - no challenge By Andrew Chaplowitz I am at a loss for words, why people would use dish soap that smells like ammonia covered with perfume, imitation lemon used. From the first time I took a whiff of almond Dishmate (actually, it's cherry almond) I have not looked back. And that was more years than I care to remember. The foam generated by the coconut, a distinct advantage over health with SLS and SLES may not be relevant to the masses. Fine. Just smell and use. Even at a higher price than the leading brands, the high concentration of the cost per use at almost the same level.

post-script--went undercover today and smelled some of the new offerings from the national companies, who've jumped on the bandwagon...lily scent, strawberry, jasmine.  End result--still no challenge to Dishmate almond.  They no longer list cherry in the ingredients.  Still, one of a kind.

-ac

WORLD'S FINEST HOME-MADE EGG CREAM

Sorry for the delay--sometimes the best things in life are worth waiting for:

• 1/4 cup Santa Cruz chocolate syrup
• 2 0z Silk brand hazelnut creamer
• 16-18 seltzer dispensed from a siphon bottle

Directions (needs one helpin hand, unless you want to impersonate the Keystone Cops)

mix syrup and and creamer by hand, then, while still stirring, add seltzer.

Best served in glass with metal holder (a nod to nostalgia!)